What.... If???

After 2.5 months, I'm here, in my second home,

Unlocked the door, entered into my room,

More than half of the area is covered with spider web, a thick layer of dirt is poking on everything,

Who knew that the lockdown could go so long?

Who knew that I won't be able to come and clean due to restrictions applied by the government due to the pandemic situation all around the world. 

Placed my bag at the side and started cleaning the home.

Dusting, cleaning, washing, and changing the bed-sheets.

Opened my wardrobe to check my clothes, whether they're okay or any fungus attacked, luckily the clothes were fine, placed all of them in sunlight to eliminate the smell of wardrobe. 

All is done, all is clean and I am ready to have some rest.

Half lying at the bed of my second home,

Having my writing diary in my hands,

Thinking about life!!!

If I wasn't in lockdown? And I would die?

Then who will come to clean my second home?

Who will notice that the chart paper letters (A S M A) I have pasted on my wardrobe are close to my heart than the costly paintings I have purchased? 

Who will notice that my Ariel printed glass is more precious to me than my fancy crockery?

Who will notice that my emergency chocolate fund box (costing just 150 rupees) is more important than my gold earrings?

Nobody will notice that some little things were more important and precious to me.

Because nobody can be me and understand me.

My life is mine and only I can understand myself.

This world is temporary and everything is temporary here. Don't know when the unresolved lockdown will start to my life and I shift to my destined home where I will have to live forever and ever and I will never be able to come back and to see the spider web, layers of dirt on furniture and floor, to clean and wash everything. In this temporary world, only one thing is permanent and that's the love of God which I'm missing, my bonding with Allah and my preparation for my final destination is not enough that I can get home there.

We never get worried about our final destination. We always think about the life we are spending which is fake and soon about to end.

My writing diary in my hands, sitting on my bed, I'm thinking that I have earned nothing to purchase a home at my final destination. I don't even have a bunch of prayers or fasts to buy a single-seater room, I am not so much obedient to my parents that Allah will allow me to stay with them, I am not sure any good deed I have done to get a shelter in my final destination. Only one thing I trusted throughout my whole life that his mercy is higher than his anger.

DON'T LOSE HOPE IN ALLAH'S MERCY, FOR ALLAH CERTAINLY FORGIVES ALL SINS, HE IS INDEED THE ALL-FORGIVING, MOST MERCIFUL. Quran 39 : 53